I can’t really be bothered to do a review of this. I did a review of the backdoor pilot that appeared within Criminal Minds and despite a couple of cast changes that seemed good on paper (Penelope Garcia will be a regular on both series, and Richard Schiff and Janeane Garofalo have joined the cast), if anything the overall quality has gone down.

The episode was packed full of cliché dialogue and direction, no subtlety at all. There’s some big inspiring speeches that made me roll my eyes, some foreshadowing hamminess that made me groan (a little girl taunting her brother that “This time, you’re never gonna find me” as she goes to play hide-and-seek just moments before getting kidnapped). The investigative process was hilariously contrived, jumping to conclusions and blundering their way to the right answer thanks to the amazing super computer search functions.

All the characters were flat and uninteresting, everyone from the main cast through to the guest victims and ‘unsub’ painfully one note and borderline caricature. Of the five person team I’m not sure we were even told the name of two of them, and Forest Whitaker appeared to be having conversations with himself more often than not.

TVSquad have done a much better job reviewing the episode. I feel like I’ve already spent more time and words on this show than it deserves.